J. Cole offers an abundance of emotionally-driven tracks in his discography, yet there’s one song that resonates deeply with him personally.
In the most recent episode of his audio series Inevitable, the Dreamville rapper was revisiting “Can I Holla At Ya,” from his 2013 EP Truly Yours, when he started to cry.
The track, which heavily features a sample from Lauryn Hill’s “To Zion,” has Cole contemplating the sorrow caused by his stepfather leaving their family and the profound effect it had on his mother.
Upon listening to the verse in question, Cole noticeably got emotional and confessed: “Bro, that really struck me hard.”
The North Carolina native subsequently spent the following minutes attempting to restrain his tears while discussing the track, becoming overwhelmed with emotion at various moments.
“When I was writing the song, I believe I was nearing my 27th birthday.” “I was just eight years after he left the family and witnessed my mom’s decline into a serious low,” he said.
“The part that messed me up just now was, ‘When you departed, I saw that woman fall apart.’” It’s similar to saying, ‘Oh no. “Damn,” Cole said, becoming emotional once more.
“At that instant, I must have wanted that dude to experience that pain […] That’s why it impacts me because I can sense the suffering.”
Cole also disclosed that he and his stepfather, Edward, have since mended their relationship and that he has come to comprehend his stepfather’s choice to depart from their family.
“Thank goodness, at this moment, compared to a few years back, we’ve reconnected, we’re good, everything is fine,” he stated. “We spoke today.” I really like this guy. “Obviously, I have always adored this guy.”
He remarked: “Now, at 37, I’m thinking, Wow, I see everyone’s viewpoint. I comprehend existence. All events occur for a purpose. My mother was in her area, he was in his area. They encountered each other due to being in similar environments.
Many relationships are formed on harmful characteristics stemming from childhood trauma that we struggle to manage. Now I realize that he was simply making choices that suited him at that moment, doing his best, while she was also trying her hardest.
You can listen to the segment here, beginning at the 49:48 timestamp.
The “Middle Child” MC previously shared in a Vulture interview that his estranged stepfather served as inspiration for his alter ego Kill Edward, which he introduced on his 2018 album KOD.
